From my point of view you have every right to think about suicide as a way to solve whatever
problem you are dealing with right now. Suicide is a decision every single human being can
contemplate. And for some people, in some circumstances, suicide might be it is the right
decision. What people and under what circumstances is not for me to say.
So for now, for this moment between us, I'd like to put the suicide decision on the shelf and ask
you to stay with me for the rest of this book. As you can guess, I'm not writing this book to hurry
anyone along. Rather, I'm writing this book to help you examine suicide in some detail and
maybe in some ways that haven't yet occurred to you.
I have one other belief I need to share with you right now. That belief is simply this: Every time
any of us has to make a decision, we always make the very best decision we can. None of us
starts out to solve a problem and says, "I think I'll make a lousy decision this time." In my view,
this never happens. What does happen is that each time we have to make a decision, we take all
the available information we have, run it through our little brains and then, sometimes crossing
our fingers, we decide what we will do. And herein lies the problem.
What if we didn't have all the information necessary to make a really good decision?
How many times have you looked back at a decision you made and said, "Gee, I shouldn't have
done that. I didn't know it would turn out that way. How could I have been so stupid?"
If you are like me, then you've done this little trick hundreds of times, maybe thousands. No one
has a corner on the stupidity market and making decisions you later regret is just part of being
human.
Among other things, life requires that each of us make decisions, hundreds of them each day.
There are little decisions like what to wear to work or school each morning, and big decisions
like what to do in life, whom to marry or whether, when things are going badly, even to go on
living. Everyone has to make the same decisions. The trouble is that we never seem to have all
the information we need to make the best possible decision every single time. If we did, we'd
make perfect decisions. But since we don't, we keep on making imperfect decisions, decisions
that we later regret. Frankly, I don't see anyway out of this for any of us.
But there is hope. As people get older they generally get a little smarter. They get a little smarter
because the longer they live, the more information they have and the better the decisions they
tend to make. Think back to when you were a kid. Think back to a decision you made that, given
what you know now, you would never make again.
For example, if you are a smoker, given what you now know about smoking, would you have
tried that first cigarette? Probably not.
Or maybe you got into a fight with a best friend or a parent and decided never to speak to them
again.
Would you act in exactly the same way today? Maybe not.
The point is, we can all look back and regret some of our decisions. We can all look back and see
that we were stupid, or maybe ignorant is a better word. Ignorance (not having all the facts) is
what most of us are most of the time.

But this is okay with me.
I don't mind being ignorant. I don't like being embarrassed because I don't know something, but
then nobody ever promised me I'd always know everything I needed to know when I needed to
know it. And, unless you got a different guarantee than I did, I don't imagine you're any better
off.
But I think we can, all of us, hope that each day we will get a little smarter. And I have always
felt that if I can look back at some dumb decision I made and say to myself, "Paul, that was a
stupid decision;' then at least I'm not getting any dumber.
So what has all this to do with suicide? What it has to do with suicide is this: when people start
thinking about ending their own life, they generally don't have all the facts. Since the majority of
suicidal people are depressed and not thinking clearly, they may think they have all the facts, but
they don't. And, because suicide is such a permanent solution and one you can't go back and
remake, then for your own sake, perhaps you ought to make the decision only after you’re
feeling good again and then only after you have considered all the facts.
And I mean every single one.
One thing I have learned from people who have thought about suicide and finally decided to do it
is that once they've made their mind up, they suddenly feel better. In fact, some of them have
told me they feel wonderful. "Now I know what to do!” they have said.
And this is exactly what happens to any of us once we have finally found a solution to a problem
we've been struggling with. It is as if we have set down a huge burden and, in setting it down, we
feel a great relief.
But just one minute. Sure, suicide will stop the hurting. Suicide will make all the problems go
away. Suicide will end the nightmare that living has become. But is it really as simple as all that?
Isn't it a bit scary? And isn't it awfully final?
You might think that last question is a silly one.
Of course suicide is final. But you might be surprised to learn that the younger a person is, the
less he or she knows about death and the finality of death. But the older you get, the more death
you see and, in the process, you come to know that a suicide attempt that ends in death is truly a
final decision.
As a friend of mine who works with suicidal young people recently said, "Some kids think
suicide is a fad. They have a big problem and they say, 'I think I'll try suicide this week. If it
doesn't work, I'll try something else next week.'"
Next week!
If I have a job ahead of me in this book it is, more than anything else, to convince you that what
looks like a quick and easy solution actually isn't all that quick and easy. As often as not, suicide
is a complicated, messy business and creates as many problems as it solves.
True, you don't have to be crazy to think about it or maybe even try it but, if you'll forgive the
joke, suicide can be dangerous to your health.